Transformers in Providence

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Of all the myths, urban legends, and X-Files-like conspiracies of which I’ve pondered the reality, I have to admit that the Transformers were never one.  But there it is in the Providence Journal, under the headline, “Witnesses say car, truck exchanged gunfire in Providence“:

Officers responded around 10:30 p.m. to a report of shots fired into a house at 49 Gallatin St. after a residents noticed an apparent bullet hole in her bathroom wall. According to police, a witness flagged the officer down to say he saw a maroon Acura chasing a white pickup truck at the intersection Sumter and Emerson streets and that they were exchanging gunfire.

Judging from the search tool on TransFormerLand (the existence of which is amazing enough), and counting on some unreliability in eyewitness accounts, it appears that the incident might have involved the Autobot Longarm and the Decepticon Dead End.  No doubt, the police are already on this trail.

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  • ShannonEntropy

    There are literally gun battles erupting in our streets and your response is to…. *laugh* ??!!??

    Looks like someone’s taken THE HONK PILL !!

    Welcome to Club Honkler, Justin !!

    Have you been following the zany adventures of
    *** FLORIDA MAN *** ??

    Google “Florida Man” then your birthday to see what mischief he got into on your big day. I know you had a B-day recently, and on it the headline was:

    Florida man bit on tongue by rattlesnake he tried to kiss

    • Justin Katz

      Well, it’s meant as a bit of dark humor. I mean, the whole point is that the article gives all the agency to the vehicles, as if there’s nothing to say about the people in them or what might be behind the fight.

  • ShannonEntropy

    METONYMY , man

    ” The White House said today… ”

    Uhhhh… the White House is a building; it can’t speak

    Usually metonymy is used rhetorically, but The Press & MSM have taken to using it to disguise the race of the subjects of their stories

    Every Sunday in the ProJo on p. A2 exec editor Alan Rosenberg gets on his high hearse — a “hearse” cuz print journalism is dying — to testify to what high journalistic standards they adhere to

    But donut hold yer breath waiting to read about how

    “… two cars full of [insert racial minority groups here] shot each other up over [drugs / some chick]”. They donut teach them how to do that at the Columbia School of Journalism any more

    ” But how is the poor wretch to acquire the ideal qualifications that he needs in his profession? ”

    —- Sigmund Freud Analysis Terminable and Interminable

    Good question, Sigmund

    p.s. I actually like Alan. I recently sent him an email pointing out a major factual error in a p. A1 story that completely changed the “victim” to the “perp”. He sent me a very gracious email back and even thanked me for reading the rag. That’s better than I’ve ever gotten from my State Rep or Senator

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