Hey, Tony (Defeat of the Dancing Cop)

Sometimes the inherent quirkiness of Rhode Island political sagas makes parody impossible.  Such is the case with the downfall of Tony Lepore, Rhode Island’s famous “Dancing Cop.”

Really:  The retired-young police officer who carried on for decades directing traffic while dancing during the holiday season until a Dunkin’ Donuts employee’s ill-advised sneer at a local officer by writing “#BlackLivesMatters” on his cup inspired Lepore to spearhead a boycott to get the young lady fired, which ultimately resulted in his losing his seasonal gig under Providence’s progressive mayor and then being hounded across the river by activists linked all the way up to Obama and Bernie Sanders when he sought a replacement gig in East Providence.

How does one parody that?  Thinking the wiser path was not to try, I wrote this song more to mark the moment in history than to attempt to make light of it.  I’m sure I’ll write something similar if illegal immigrants one day force a statewide ban of coffee milk because it triggers memory of abuse they experienced in their home countries, or something.

(Click here to download the mp3 file if the Flash player doesn’t work.)


Hey, Tony (Defeat of the Dancing Cop)

Hey, Tony
It’s nothing personal
But we gotta take you out
There ain’t two ways about it
Now, Tony
You’ve done a lot of good
But you shoulda kept your mouth closed
Can’t you see which way the wind blows?

All the kids you’ve entertained will miss you
And all the tickets you just let go, we’ll issue
The times are changing

It’s crazy
How fast the rules can change
When just a hashtag on a cup
Becomes an Ocean State setup
Now, Tony,
They’re gonna hunt you down
That affirmative action queen
And ambitious progressive teen

It’s not like this is some kind of vendetta
You’re just caught up in the president’s agenda
And the narrative is changing.

Hey, icon
It’s all real simple now
Black Lives Matters can just defeat
All of your dance moves on the street
Yeah, Tony
You thought it’d be old age
But it’s crybullies who will stop
The beat of the Dancing Cop

There’s not a mayor who’ll save our Christmas this time
‘Tis the season to prosecute your thought crime
And the climate is changing

Hey, Tony
It’s nothing personal
But we gotta take you out

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