DC Gov’t Worker Parody of “Rich Men North of Richmond”

Parody of Oliver Anthony’s Rich Men North of Richmond by Remy

LYRICS:

I’ve been working till the break of 4:45
I get an automatic raise and I can’t be fired
Must wait to age 57 till I can retire
With an inflation-adjusted pension that somehow keeps going higher

Oh, it’s a damn shame what the world’s come to
They want us back in the office on Mondays too
Wish I could just wake up and it not be true
But it is, oh it is

Not living in the real world is a lot harder than you would know
Sure I got dental, but it’s bad, I go mental ‘cuz I had to fill out both of these forms
I also see price hikes on necessities
I had to purchase my rental in Ocean City
Please don’t tell anyone, it’s so embarrassing
The plight of rich men north of Richmond

I just sit here a-wasting my whole life away
‘Cuz this verification code is taking all day
How do you expect me to check my 401(k)?
Plus, my Fudge Rounds supplier no longer takes Apple Pay

Oh, it’s a damn shame what the world’s come to
It takes one person to do my job, so we have two
Wish I could just wake up and it not be true
But it is, oh it is

Not living in the real world is a lot harder than you would know
Sure I got health care, but I get an in-depth scare, only weeks left to open enroll

The new guy plays with his pen, he just sits there and snaps
How am I to get in all my 2 p.m. naps?
They want us back now on Tuesdays, I just might collapse
The plight of rich men north of Richmond

We’re just like you

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